Georgina, is the founder of A fat lot of good. She lives with her three children. Each week, she writes about the sense—and nonsense—of life.
‘Never hate the wrong man. Thank him, because if it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t have realized it was time for a change. He highlighted what we needed to fix inside ourselves. Because of him, we realized that we are only responsible for our own issues and happiness. Through him, we learned that it’s okay to be a little selfish. We must thank the wrong man, because thanks to him we will be ready to meet the right one.’ -Elyane Youssef.
Sometimes it just happens naturally, other times it is forced yet I have spent the last month if not years decluttering; moving from one space to another both emotionally and physically. Secretly I weep for my boys growing up as men in a world that is rapidly loosing its embodied male identity. I feel a fiery role within to gift and create a profound experience to these three young men to create depth, passion and boldness in their relationships and their lives.
“Choose men friends who themselves are living at their edge, facing their fears and living just beyond them. Men of this kind can love you without protecting you from the necessary confrontation with reality that your life involves. You should be willing to trust these men will tell you about your life as they see it, offer you a specific action which will shed light on your own position, and give you the support necessary to live in the freedom just beyond your edge, which is not always, or even usually easy.”–David Deida
The letting go of my boys and of my past has been hard, both forming who I am today, my wheel of life the identity of ‘me’. I don’t get as fired up as I used to, yet history hurts it would be a lie if I didn’t take on its ownership.
For Buddha said: “Our suffering comes from our attachment to people and things, our repeated attempts to find something lasting where there is nothing lasting to be found.”
It is time to celebrate the differences of others, where I demand more another may demand less. I have cradled my tears in my hands for years and time has allowed me to mature into ‘feeling’ what it is the other needs before giving. Finding trust in every day in that other person and honouring the trust they have gifted to you. Identifying that with the very same energy I am capable of in anger too can be beautifully resonated in equal volume to every day and myself.
As women we are deeply engaged in our relationships and in the world. Having an instinctive feminine presence who feels friends with a sharpened purpose and as an aid to relaxing our emotional needs. We feel, we get integrity, commitment and discipline to nest and nurture yet do we extend this to a daily practice to our own self awareness, care and love? Are we committed to loving ourselves? Do we place importance on attaching to ourselves, do we in fact live on our edge, face our fears and try to respect our self worth and adventure to live beyond them?
“Your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other.” ~ Abraham Lincoln
It doesn’t matter if others believe you can succeed, or that you will succeed. No one can give you the resolution to succeed except yourself. It’s important to stoke those self nurture fires regularly, even daily so that you don’t get into the mentality that you can’t succeed or that failure is an option. We measure success personally, the personal idea of what it means to succeed is different than another, this is all about a deep relationship with you.
I’ve noticed that I am actually a little more attached to me and less to my material things these days. The future men that I mother will only succeed by the example I set.
Treating Love and generousity as a spiritual practice, giving often when not feeling like it, feeling into what another needs and pushing through personal preferences with open hearts to the other. Generous loving to the self as an intention that is cultivated, being present in the self, as an energy, with attention and understanding.
As a society, we spend thousands to learn skills for business, hobbies or physical well being. Yet, we spend very little time investing in how to love more artfully. The first is intimacy with the self, or the removal of distance or separation from another. As a mother by creating and teaching practices that allow for more self appreciation and love through example and communication I nurture to spark and foster this flow of energy to my boys. Unlearning the hardened ways and talk that has been fostered through many generations before.
Georgina Land is a mother of three and certified fitness coach and tutor. Her greatest passions are helping women end conflict and disconnection with their bodies and the spaces they inhabit. With her unique process and a customised approach, she helps women discover the forgotten pockets of their own spirit. She creates beautiful group experiences and is also available for private one-on-one sessions. Georgina is a passionate lecturer and teacher in the fitness qualification industry and can also be found co-leading womens groups in gorgeous places around the coast of sussex.